


Swan Queen Scene - This Is The Way

by waknatious



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Humor, Swan-Mills Family Fluff (Once Upon a Time), henry is an amazing little shit in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29402385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waknatious/pseuds/waknatious
Summary: It's really time for Regina to get a new car.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	Swan Queen Scene - This Is The Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fancyfanstuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyfanstuff/gifts).
  * Inspired by [some more realistic swan queen relationship Issue headcanons](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/760326) by @swanqueensalad de Tumblr. 



> fancypants and I chose a couple topics from the list and thought it would be fun to write one for each other, as sort of a Valentine's gift (really just out of convenience, because the date was coming up, not that she's my valentine, though i do have a crush on her sense of humour, little goofball that she is)  
> Soooo... this is for @fancyfanstuff.

“But, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my car,” Regina says as she strolls regally around the sleek, black sedan, her hands tucked into the pockets of her long black coat, her heels clicking on the tarmac. The thing looks like it’s going a hundred miles an hour just sitting there, hunkered onto the pavement. It is an objectively beautiful machine.

“Now.” Emma states plainly.

“What do you mean, ‘now’,” Regina asks.

“There’s nothing wrong with your car  _ right now, _ Regina,” says Emma. “Remember two months ago?”

“Yeah, Mom. If Ma wasn’t so good with tools it would still be sitting in the driveway.” Henry walks around the automobile with the same posture and manner as his brunette mother, hands tucked into his peacoat, but with slightly more enthusiasm, and an appreciative smile on his face. The anodized alloy wheels catch his eye. “Aw, cool!” 

If Emma takes Henry’s ‘tools’ comment as a compliment, she doesn’t show it; she’s crouched out in front of the vehicle, admiring its aggressive stance.

“Nonsense. I’d have taken it to the mechanic,” Regina proclaims haughtily. She runs an appreciative finger over the glistening metallic black paint.

“Nuh-uh, they said they’re not fixing it anymore because it’s too hard to get parts,” Henry counters.

Regina scowls. “‘Nuh uh’, Henry? Is that English?”

Henry stops his stroll, looks right at his mother and deadpans: “Uh-huh.”

Regina gives that a mild eye-roll and schools her features to sternness, though it’s clearly funny, to all of them, and she knows that. Emma doesn’t even try; she snorts loudly.

Regina narrows her eyes at Emma, who simply laughs outright at her. The brunette mostly stifles a smirk and peers in a window. “The seats look nice.”

“Yeah, and they’re probably heated too,” Emma says, and walks closer to the vehicle to peer inside with her.

“Heated?”

“Yes, that’s the way they make cars now, Your Majesty,” Emma says. The finely veiled barb of course is that Regina is old,  _ so old _ . No one needs to say it; it’s just another of the running gags in their little family unit, and has been for some time. “Especially cars like this one,” she adds appreciatively, stepping back a little and gazing back and forth along it’s sleek lines.

“Steering wheel too, don’t you think Ma?” Henry asks.

“Oh, for sure,” says Emma. It’s hard to see the controls through the heavily tinted windows, so she tries the door. It’s locked of course. “Oh and speaking of new stuff, your old deathtrap has no airbags, and this one has like twenty-seven or something.”

_ “ _ Excc _ cuuuuuse me, _ did you just call  _ my car _ a deathtrap??”

“It’s old Mom, you need a new car.” Henry’s now made it to the rear of the vehicle and crouches down to admire the chrome-tipped quad exhaust ports.

“Yeah, one with safety features,” Emma adds, “and heated seats for that precious littl-”

“Ma!” Henry interrupts loudly. “Please don’t. Breakfast was a while ago, but I could still hurl.”

Regina straightens and turns to Emma. “I can’t believe you have the gaul to say that about my car, when you drive that…. that little yellow piece o-”

“Mom!... we’re not talking about Ma’s car! That horse is dead - you guys beat it to death a long time ago.”

The mayor simply scoffs, and mutters “I can’t help but feel that you two are ganging up on me.”

Emma and Henry share a look. Emma speaks first. “Um, duh?”

Henry puts on a stoic face. “This Is The Way.” he says. 

Emma snorts loudly again. “Nice… up top…”

As they share a high-five, a voice from a few cars away interrupts. “Hello, hello, ladies, what do we think of the 2020 S-Class?” Henry pops his head around Emma’s torso with a derisive scowl. “Ah, ladies  _ and young gentleman. _ My apologies,” says the salesman.

Regina groans, and mutters quietly: “Oh good lord, now look what we have to-”

“Regina, shhhh,” Emma says “it’s fine, he’s fine, just doing his job.”

“If you two hadn’t dragged me over here, we’d-”

Emma reaches up and lightly grasps her shoulders. “Oh my god  _ chill,  _ okay?” She does the ‘significant eye-widening thing' at her, and once Regina stops bristling to her satisfaction, she pivots on a heel and extends a hand in greeting to the intruder. “Heyyyyy, hi. I’m Emma,” she says with a saccharine smile.

“Hi Emma, I’m Kevin! What can we at Elite Motors do for you folks today?”

“Wow,  _ that’s _ a name huh…” Henry mutters.

“I’m sorry, what now?” Kevin asks, still smiling, but obviously working to keep his own saccharine level stabilized.

“Haha, don’t pay any attention to these two - I think we’re going to have to find some lunch or something pretty soon,” Emma says by way of apology. Kevin’s hackles go down a bit, and Emma mouths _ “soooo crankyyyyy” _ with a bit of a head nod back over her shoulder, grinning disarmingly. He gives that a begrudging chuckle and she can almost physically see his internal shift back into sales mode.

“We’ve got great financing going right now, and I’ve got this 560 in black, white, silver and ruby!” he says enthusiastically. “She sure is a sight in ‘obsidian metallic’, isn’t she?” he offers, doing his best to take in the full group with his practiced smile. “Who are we shopping for today?”

“Mom’s got an eighty-nine 560SL that she’s been hanging onto forever,” Henry says, nodding in Regina’s direction. “Time for an update.”

“Oh! Very nice!” Kevin begins, “You know, I used to-”

“Henry Daniel Mills…” Regina says through clenched teeth, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“We’re juuusssst kinda shopping right now!” Emma adds quickly in response to Kevin’s raised eyebrows, putting herself between him and her son’s other mother, attempting to defuse the situation. She leans toward him and adds in a near whisper: “Look, we’re working on it… not too receptive right now but we’re working on it.” 

“I see,” he responds quietly, “I didn’t catch her name?” he says, looking over Emma’s shoulder at Regina, who is now inspecting the car’s window sticker.

“It’s Regina, but if I were you, I’d stick with ‘Ms. Mills’ for the time being.” Emma says.

“Yuuuuup,” Henry adds, popping the “p” at the end. “That’s a good way to go.”

Kevin scowls, clearly thinking that he’s got things well in hand. “I… don’t think that’s going to work - we pride ourselves on personality at Elite Motors.” He clears his throat and resets the auto-smile. “Hi, Regina!” he says, fishing a business card from his pocket and making his way around Emma. Henry’s eyes widen comically as they find Emma’s and silently plead with her to save this poor man’s life. Emma looks back just in time to watch Regina turn and fix him with a glare that goes right through his eye sockets and out the back of his head. In her mind’s eye, Emma sees the back of his skull come off as he drops in a heap to the pavement.

She’s about to step in, but feels Henry tap her arm as he moves past her toward their doomed visitor; the kid’s clearly got a plan. “Heyyyy, so Kevin!” he begins loudly, “do you guys have like a hot chocolate machine or something inside?” He glances back to make sure Emma’s on board. She grins. _ I have never been prouder of my son, _ she thinks to herself.

Kevin gives Henry an odd look. “We do, and I can tell you how to get to it, you ju-”

“Oh yeah, it’s kinda chilly and damp out here, hot cocoa sounds amazing!” Emma says.

Henry flashes the man a charming smile. “Yeah let’s go inside and grab some for everybody while The Moms ™ check out the car, whaddaya say?”

“You go ahead, I have to-” Kevin begins, but Henry cuts him off.

“Nah, I can’t carry three hot chocolates, you gotta help!” Henry looks down at the man’s hand, “Hey, is that the keyfob to the Merk?”

When Kevin looks down and opens his palm, just barely, Henry grabs it. “Perfect!” he exclaims proudly, and tosses it to Emma, giving Kevin’s sleeve a little tug and heading toward the dealership. “Back in a few, Moms! C’mon Kev, let’s go.”

Kevin frowns but plays along, following Henry. “Ladies,” he calls back as he’s scuttling after their teenaged son, “please don’t start the car or drive anywhere until I get back?”

“You got it buddy!” Emma replies with two big cheesy thumbs up and a matching grin. He shakes his head as he turns to trot awkwardly and catch up with Henry. Emma smiles in admiration of her kid and his clearly dangerous level of charm. Her smile falters a little when she hears a harrumph from the woman behind her.

“That man is gross,” Regina says. “Ugh, did you see how much girth that poor shirt is holding in?” The look on her face is undisguised loathing. “And that creepy fake smile…” she adds with an exaggerated shudder.

“Oof!” Emma says with a chuckle. She reaches out and tucks her arms under Regina’s, whose hands are still in her coat pockets, and loosely holds her around her waist. “Somebody really does need a sandwich, huh? So judgy and cranky,” she says in a cute voice, and plants a kiss on the brunette’s nose with a teasing smile.

“I am. I’m sorry.” Regina says, looking suddenly contrite. “You two are ganging up on me again.”

“It’s what we do when it needs doing baby,” says Emma, pulling Regina further into her arms.

“It’s really not fair,” Regina whines, pouting a little. She nuzzles into Emma’s collar.

Emma grins. “Oh, but it was fair when you and Hen cornered me about ignoring all my built up vacation time from last year?”

Regina has a counterpoint ready, and straightens up to deliver it. “That was necessary, and-”

“Annnnnd,” Emma cuts her off, “it was fair when you and I basically held an intervention for Henry when he needed to get his head out of his ass about NYU?”

Regina sighs and deflates. “It’s kind of how we do things isn’t it…”

Emma chuckles. “Like Henry said, ‘this is the way’.”

Regina purses her lips to quash a rising smile, but fails, earning her a kiss on the forehead from Emma. She disentangles herself from the blonde and turns to regard the shiny new vehicle again. “Well, regardless,” she says, looking in through the back window, “this car essentially offers nothing that my car does not already have… nothing of substance anyway.”

“Nothing of substance? As in not substantial?” Emma asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“Really. You can decode ‘substantial,’ but not ‘of substance?’ Emma dear, they harbor an identical Latin root…”

It’s Emma’s turn for a colossal eye-roll. “Okay, nerd.” She looks down at the fob in her hand and finds the ‘unlock’ button, points it at the car, and unlocks it. “Get in, professor. Play with the adjustable seats or something.” After an acquiescent head tilt, Regina climbs in and begins to do just that. 

“Also, your car has like, basically no back seat whatsoever.” Emma says.

“And?” is Regina’s caustic reply, which she delivers without even looking up.

Emma whips out her phone.

> **[Ma]:** hey kid
> 
> **[Ma]:** come back with anyone but kevin and I’ve got this 
> 
> **[Henry]:** yeah? what did you do so fast to ungrump her
> 
> **[Henry]:** had a snickers in your pocket?  **🤣**
> 
> **[Ma]:** I’ve got an idea but you don’t wanna ask
> 
> **[Henry]:** okay gross. do what you have to do. I’ll see if I can find someone
> 
> **[Henry]:** do I need to give you two some time?
> 
> **[Ma]:** omg Hen no
> 
> **[Ma]:** I’m not going to be out here banging your mom in the car
> 
> **[Henry]:** she says as if it would be the first time I walked into that
> 
> **[Ma]:** omg Henry
> 
> **[Henry]:** I will carry these scars forever
> 
> **[Ma]:** just find somebody. Jerk.
> 
> **[Henry]:** be right out

Emma pockets her phone and climbs smiling into the back seat. She lets out a few appreciative  _ oohh's _ and  _ aahh's _ as she rubs her hands on the seats and stretches her legs.

“Do you two need a moment back there?” Regina asks.

“Mmmm… you could join us?”

Regina glances in the rear view mirror and smiles. “An invitation…. very well,” she says, and begins to climb out of the driver’s seat. Emma pushes the rear door open all the way for her, using her foot as she stretches bodily across the backseat. By the time Regina has come around to the rear cabin, Emma is fully reclined and grinning at her. Satisfied that she has the brunette’s full and undivided attention, she hooks a leg over one of the headrests and moans softly. The effect it has on Regina is instantaneous - she stands unmoving and staring into the back of the car, her eyes darkening.

Emma grins and pokes the inside of her cheek with her tongue. She sighs with exaggerated contentment and angles her head this way and that from her inclined position. “Look at all this room,” she says, trailing her finger along the walnut trim of the opposite door behind her head. “Like, I think…” she continues, turning over and rising to rest on her knees, “like… you could almost  _ do yoga _ back here…” She rubs her palms over her jeans-clad thighs twice, facing away from Regina, who  _ she knows _ still stands transfixed behind her, and hums thoughtfully. “What do we think, hmm?” she says, glancing over her shoulder, “Downward dog?” She begins the stretch and lets out a long slow moan as she reaches for the far end of the seat. She hears Regina gasp quietly.

Emma hears “Hi Mom” from a distance, followed by a gruffer, older voice saying “Hello Ms. Mills…” politely. This is immediately followed by the staccato clack of heels on the pavement moving away from the car.

“Excuse me… sir? Sir!! Yes, hello… yes-yes hello,” Regina snaps impatiently. “I wish to purchase this vehicle right away please. Now. Today. Yes, this instant, thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!!  
> VvLSQ,  
> W


End file.
